okie, sorry that i dont really have time to update this blog. well, first of all i dont know whether they are people reading this blog. whatever, it is not like i write for the sake of others to read. i write because i want to do so.anyway, the business of today's life is the reason behind the abandonment of this blog.
anyways, weekends for me now is a dinosaur. it is something that has extincted in my life and i am in great need to revive it. i spent most of my weekends nowadays at my faculty, doing work. well, i dont want to say this as a bad thing as i am earning money but what do i have to pay to earn that meager amount of money? my youth time and freedom. well, i guess it is kinda usual for people to sacrifice those things for money nowadays. besides, what can i really do since i dont really have friends who go out in the weekend. in other words, i am not complaining at all.. yeah right!
what i need the most at the moment is rest. well, some have been asking me why do i look so messed up? lack of rest do such thing to you okie. i even have a red eye to show how much rest am i lacking. however, somehow i repaid everything last night i think..i slept for the total of 12 hours.. 10 to 10.. haha.. luckily i got no class to attend at all today.. if not, i shall die!
then, since the break is coming, one thing for sure is tests! exactly, they just need to finish as many tests as possible before the break.. am currently studying for one.. wish me luck okie! tata for now.. see you later..
*tired*
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Trying once again..
My first true love was when I was 16, back in secondary school. It was a long time friend who had the hearts for me for quite some time but I never took notice since I was busy with chasing other people. Then, one day, when I was recovering from a severe breakup with someone that I thought was my real love that cheated on me, the person made a physical confession to the heart feeling. To be honest, I cannot digest it at first as we were friends since all I can remember but I said to myself, let us give love a try. It was the right decision to make.
The first few months were full of awkwardness as the transitions were still going on. It was not easy to change the perspective. From just a mere friend to someone whom you cherish and love with all your heart. But as time goes by, I got the hang of it and started committing seriously. A lot of sweet and bitter moments then were created and shared. A lot of memories were gathered and a lot of heartaches and tears were felt. But, we were severely in love with each other.
Then, fate played its game. We were separated by our way of life. The choice we made after secondary school. I chose a course that required e to go to a different state and so as the person. Longing set in and at times, the missing was just unbearable. With the absence, new presences were felt. New interests were developed. The whole foundation of our relationship was shaken. In the end, love ruptured drastically on the ground without any of us realizing it. It ended after two and a half year of being together.
We remained friends after that. But later, we strayed from each other. It was by the person’s wish as it is difficult to look at me in different way than the way we have seen each other for the duration we were together. Then, we both found new love and move on with our life. The memories remained still and no longer cherished. Have no idea what the person went through but I had several relationships. Serious relationships that I really commit and hoped for it to succeed. But after another severe breakup, this time a three year old relationship with someone that I see more than just a partner, a confidante and someone I can rely on, I seriously felt weak. I had no one to hold on to.
Until that one day when I decided to give the first love a call. A decision I made from a weird intuition I felt deep within me. The person answered the phone and we catch up with each other. We talk on a lot of things but one topic that we cannot escape was love. I told that I am not affiliated with anyone anymore. The person said ditto. Then, the question was popped.
“Will you be with me again?”
“errr.. give me some time please? I need to think first”
“Sure. You love this game since before right? You just love making me wait for you”
“*awkward silence*”
To be honest, I am puzzled. There was a reason why our relationship failed earlier. I do not know if starting again is a smart thing to do. But after much deliberation and thinking of what harm will it bring, I have come to a decision. Let us give it a try again. This time, through the thick and thin. And if it fails again, at least we have tried. I hope this is the right thing to do.
*learning to love again*
The first few months were full of awkwardness as the transitions were still going on. It was not easy to change the perspective. From just a mere friend to someone whom you cherish and love with all your heart. But as time goes by, I got the hang of it and started committing seriously. A lot of sweet and bitter moments then were created and shared. A lot of memories were gathered and a lot of heartaches and tears were felt. But, we were severely in love with each other.
Then, fate played its game. We were separated by our way of life. The choice we made after secondary school. I chose a course that required e to go to a different state and so as the person. Longing set in and at times, the missing was just unbearable. With the absence, new presences were felt. New interests were developed. The whole foundation of our relationship was shaken. In the end, love ruptured drastically on the ground without any of us realizing it. It ended after two and a half year of being together.
We remained friends after that. But later, we strayed from each other. It was by the person’s wish as it is difficult to look at me in different way than the way we have seen each other for the duration we were together. Then, we both found new love and move on with our life. The memories remained still and no longer cherished. Have no idea what the person went through but I had several relationships. Serious relationships that I really commit and hoped for it to succeed. But after another severe breakup, this time a three year old relationship with someone that I see more than just a partner, a confidante and someone I can rely on, I seriously felt weak. I had no one to hold on to.
Until that one day when I decided to give the first love a call. A decision I made from a weird intuition I felt deep within me. The person answered the phone and we catch up with each other. We talk on a lot of things but one topic that we cannot escape was love. I told that I am not affiliated with anyone anymore. The person said ditto. Then, the question was popped.
“Will you be with me again?”
“errr.. give me some time please? I need to think first”
“Sure. You love this game since before right? You just love making me wait for you”
“*awkward silence*”
To be honest, I am puzzled. There was a reason why our relationship failed earlier. I do not know if starting again is a smart thing to do. But after much deliberation and thinking of what harm will it bring, I have come to a decision. Let us give it a try again. This time, through the thick and thin. And if it fails again, at least we have tried. I hope this is the right thing to do.
*learning to love again*
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